Ten Misspelled Tattoos
Nothing says forever like a misspelled tattoo
And he’ll juge your spelling
Possibly the most famous misspelled tattoo. Instead of Chi-Town as the man requested, he got “Chi-Tonw”. He later sued the tattoo artist.
LAHORE: He was born as a hero, with a proverbial silver spoon in his mouth; he lived as a hero and died as a hero, though a tragic one. He was none other than our own Waheed Murad.
Waheed Murad�s style of acting and his picturisation of songs in films were inimitable and were even copied in the Indian film industry. Murad is still remembered as the chocolate hero of the Pakistani silver screen.
Murad was born on October 2, 1938 in Karachi. He did his Masters in English from the Karachi University in 1963 and then took over his father Nisar Murad�s business � a film production house, Film Arts Karachi. Murad�s fan following still exists in huge numbers in Pakistan and India. The chocolate hero saw the zenith of Pakistani cinema.
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Gwyneth Paltrow promoting Two Lovers at the 61st Cannes Film Festival. Photograph: Francois Mori/AP
This issue/episode/whatevs of Lost in Showbiz shall be a solemn meditation on the subject of What Else Can Your Celebrity Do? Because it’s not good enough, is it, for them just to do whatever it is they became famous for. Dance for me, loser, dance!
Celebrities want you to know that they don’t “just” act, they don’t “just” model: there is so much more depth beneath those shallow pools. Those who lack the foreign policy nous of Middle East diplomat Jude Law hire underlings to design clothing ranges because they’ve always been – self-deprecating chuckle – obsessed with fashion. Others go on reality TV shows where they will do such extraordinary things as wear no makeup and cry and be stuck in a room with Sue Perkins for a while. And then some celebrities turn to the internet.
MySpace has, of course, served as a most excellent forum for celebrities to get their all-too-often stifled voices out into the world, with Lindsay Lohan and Lily Allen being probably the most frequently heard, although Leonardo DiCaprio’s page (“I am an actor and an environmental activist”) is occasionally worth checking out, too.
One really needs to go to tomcruise.com in person to see a true messiah complex in action, and also, of course, to read the “message from Tom” (“There are so many more stories to be told” – oh Tom, aren’t there just.)
But a new standard has been set this week by Gwyneth Paltrow and the launch of her website, Goop.com.
To give you a bit of recent Paltrow context, Lost in Showbiz was privileged – nay, blessed – to watch her on Oprah Winfrey last week. Admittedly the descriptions of her daily workouts with a personal trainer were just fascinating but I think the most thrilling moment was when Gwyneth discussed her friendship with Madonna, which Lost in Showbiz always hoped might develop into a kind of Thelma and Louise scenario. Anyway, Madonna “has an amazing dichotomy” (huh, shouldn’t she get a cream for that?) and is “such an intelligent person”. How intelligent, Gwyneth? “She really rearranged my molecules.” Blow me, even those idiots at Cern couldn’t manage that one. Oh, and Madonna’s kids are “just phenomenal”. How so? “Well, they’re just really polite.”
And now, via the medium of the interweb, Gwyneth has, to her extraordinary credit, found a way to be even more annoying. This is not some poxy “here’s my CV” website. No, Gwynnie wants to help you – you dumpy, gross, animal-fat-injesting freaks – be more pure like her. Excited already!
Launching this week, the intriguingly named Goop.com will teach you how to “nourish what is real”. Learn from Gwyneth, is the motto here, and who wouldn’t want to? Why, in her mission statement she assures us, “I love being in spaces that are clean and feel nice.” It’s like sitting at the knee of Thomas Aquinas.
Best of all is the promise that Gwyneth will share “some thoughts from one of my sages”. Gwyneth’s sages! And people say the internet is just full of half-assed crap. Obviously, Lost in Showbiz has already signed up for the newsletter because if there’s any woman who can help this column “nourish the inner aspect”, then you just know it’s going to be a woman who had to be hospitalised this year while it was reported that she was on a five-day fast. Oh, how my inner aspect feels so nourished already.
Pull up your hair backwards and tie a band, put on an apron. Take small piece of cotton wool and remove the makeup and clean the face with cactus cream or cold cream.Cleansing
Clean the eyes from inner corner to the outer corner. Both upper lid and lower lid in the same manner.
Face to be cleaned from chin to the temples.
Corner of the lips to the temples.
Corner of the nose to the temples
From cheeks to temples
Clean upper lip from outer edges to center.
Clean round the nostrils clockwise, anti-clock wise sides of the nose, tip of the nose pressure T-zone, go from the center of the center of fore head to temples.
Clean neck from chin to the chest and down by friction of the chest, shoulder and stop behind the ear.
Wipe of the cream.
Take some skin cream or charmis, apply on hands. Dip hands in ice water and start nourishing with.
Face strokes
General stroke
Uplifting the cheeks
scissors stroke
Circling the upper lip
Curling the corner of the lips
Iron at the laugher lines
Tapering the tip of the nose.
Then go along with the bridge of the nose From chin set the pulse point.
Roll patting with a finger
Roll patting with 3 fingers
Vibration
Friction
Pinching
Patting
Then close at the pulse point.
Eye Strokes
Circling the eye with 3 fingers
Vibration with one finger
Ratating the eye balls with ring finger
Lifting the eye brows with index finger
Pinching the eyebrow.
Cupping the eyes
Making S & 8 movement.
Forehead
Vibration all over the forehead
Friction on the fore head,start with the middle of forehead
Making S & 8 movements
Patting
Cupping and then close at pulse point.
Lower Jaw
Flopping
Criss-cross
Pinching
Tapping and cupping and iron out them close at pulse point.
Neck
General strokes
Butterfly strokes
Vibration and friction
Pinching and painting
Needling and necking
S & 8 movements
Cupping the shoulders
Iron at the shoulders
Circling the back of the neck.
Iron out shoulder blades
Close the facial and cats crawl.
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